Internal GPS Needed

I desperately need someone to invent an internal GPS. You know, something that could be implanted into my body and a little voice would whisper in my ear whether or not I'm going in the right direction. It would also yell "STOP" if I start to go the wrong way. I'm sure this probably already exists somewhere in the spy world. If it does, I need one. Anyone who knows me knows that I have the worst sense of direction. It runs on my Dad's side of the family. You may think that's impossible, but it really does. My brother once drove the wrong direction on the interstate and didn't notice until he crossed the border of the wrong state. I would probably do the same thing if I traveled by myself more often. I go the wrong way even when I use the GPS in the car. I can't always tell where it's telling me to turn when it says to turn now. I've tried to use my phone GPS when walking. I've had the little blue dot right on the place I was trying to go and still not seen the place. This bad sense of direction is a family curse.

Today my bad sense of direction kicked in when I had to go downtown to UAB to go to the eye doctor. One perk of Stephen working at the hospital is the pretty great health insurance we have. The one bad thing is that you pretty much have to go to UAB to make that health insurance worthwhile. I asked Stephen last night how to get to where I needed to go today, and he gave me pretty decent directions. The problem is that UAB covers 83 city blocks (according to wikipedia) and the hospital is about half of UAB. It's huge! So, I drove right past the building that I needed to go to this morning. I made the block and looked for the sign that said Callahan eye hospital patient parking, and I turned in. I thought it was a little weird that you had to press a little button instead of pulling a ticket. A lady asked me who my appointment was with. When I told her, she told me that I was at the wrong lot, and I needed to back up and pull in the lot next door. Well of course, there was a car behind me. I had to push the button again to tell the lady that there was a car behind me and I couldn't back up. She got frustrated and said she would let me through but I was not to park, I was to go right out of the exit on the other side. I did as she said, made the block again, and finally got to the right parking garage (on the third try).

I was once again directionally challenged after my appointment. Since they dilated my eyes, and I couldn't drive for a while, I decided to walk to the building Stephen works in and have lunch with him. Well, I got really lost on foot. In my defense, I kind of couldn't see anything because my eyes were dilated and it was really bright outside. I had to ask two people for directions. I finally found the main hospital building. Luckily my sweet husband (knowing how bad my problem is) took pity on me and walked me back to the eye hospital and my car after we had lunch. :)

The most fun part of this whole adventure was that they didn't have trial contacts in my prescription, so I get to go back next week. Hopefully, I will do better the second time. :) If anyone hears of the invention of an internal GPS, send one my way!